Bridging Grief
by penpaninuSessh
Summary: Kenshin and Kaoru take a new step into their future. Set in the Jinchu chapter of Reflections OVA animation. How did they finally cross the boundary? Take a look and see!


Reposted for my story account on FF dot net. Tell me what you think, original story set in Kenshin Reflections ova written two and a half years ago.

...I just bought the twentieth volume of Rurouni Kenshin manga and found the author originally had Kenshin sit and tell his tale of the cross-shaped scar to the whole gang. How merry, unlike Reflections ova, ne? Well I still had Karou run around in a fit of grief, but decided it to be a slightly added on reason. 

All thanks to the wondrous Inu Skye for urging me to write a Kenshin and Karou lemon. She's hot in a hakama and haori set. 

That's right, citrus abounds later in this tale. Tell me what you think! 

Disclaimer: Penpaninu does not claim to own Rurouni Kenshin in any way shape or form. Does claim to be a pacifist however. The hints at the Jinchu story arc belong not to me, but to Watsuki Nobuhiro only. I am merely elaborating after the fact. 

"Bridging Grief" 

by penpaninu 

Cicadas chirped and the window chimes turned in the slight spring breeze. Kenshin sighed as his mind set heavy with desired contentment. He had finally done it. The past had leaked out, on one fine day after everyone had returned together from their Kyoto adventure. Japan was saved once more and Kenshin breathed a mental sigh of relief that he could heal his body once more in the wake of peace due to his swords' impact. 

But…. events and his own personal feelings had pushed other things from the past forward and Kenshin knew that his friends deserved to know where his past set him to the man they knew now. The older chivalrous man they all came to with matter of opinion and advice. The surrogate father or older brother even Sanosuke deterred to in matter of authority. The man with a youthful appearance despite his years of experience. 

Hiten-Mitsurugi had kept him young in body and spirit, but its techniques had involuntarily turned him into a killer for a time. 

"Swordsmanship is a method of murder do you hear me?" Kenshin winced and his eyes looked dull as his memory conjured up his master's yell. He had been fourteen and eager as a colt to leave training and use his skills to save people. His master's words had struck him deeply to the soul, but he had been resolute to leave and find his path. 

"If you leave this mountain, you will live a life of murder under the direction of men who write their own justice…" 

I know, Master, I know….' Kenshin thought. The painfully lanced words still berated him mentally. They were painful in only that they were true in every way. 

"If you throw your lot in with them, Mitsurugi Technique will make you a mass murderer…" 

Kenshin looked down at his bare hands, remembering stains of blood covering the backs and palms of them. Kaoru had been hurt by his tale, he was sure of it. He had to tell them of his first wife, and how he…. had taken her from the land of the living. His talent with a sword had insured the new era of Japan efficiently coming to pass, but it had also taken a sea of men and one special woman down with it. 

There had been breaks for tea, and stretching of legs, but Kenshin and Kaoru had remained sitting side by side. They never moved nor looked at each other as the harsh low words were pulled from Kenshin's throat, indicating his deep guilt and his deeper conviction never to be the man he had been before he was married. 

When Kenshin was done…Tsubame-chan had asked the others to dinner at Akebeko's. It was her own subtle way to give the former battosai and the kendo mistress time alone. Kaoru had smiled painfully at him, and she had…. gone to reflect. Kenshin hung his head and continued to walk around her dojo hallways. He thought that perhaps they would have a chance together, that he could be the man Kaoru-donno needed, but then the past had spilled forward once again and threatened them all. 

Kenshin shook his head and tapped a fist against one of the pillars. He would never let anything harm what he had found to be himself in. He had a new family here, and he would not lose it this time. Better that Kaoru realize she could not be with him, than be hurt by associating herself with him. It seized Kenshin's heart to think like this… but he could not love her if it would rain enemies down upon her. 

Kenshin stopped by the courtyard and froze, his heart stopping an instant. Kaoru-donno was out there, poised for battle. She must have been practicing some intricate kata with her father's heavy bokken, but the moment Kenshin had come around the corner, she was poised, as if collecting herself. Kenshin's mouth quirked in a small smile, feeling Kaoru hone her chi together. She was a formidable woman with a sword and anyone who came calling to do damage to her for knowing him would not know it. Woe to them, really. 

Kenshin's eyes softened as he stepped off the pathway and across the courtyard. Tapping into a touch of his god-given speed, he was behind her in a moment. Kaoru's spine stiffened and she looked over her shoulder at her rurouni. 

"Kenshin! What are you doing?" she asked, almost breaking her stance. Kenshin took her elbow in one arm, and straightened her other arm at the same instance. 

"This would suit your stance better, de gozaru," Kenshin murmured. His eyes were still sad, but held the dimmest hope. Kaoru's heart thudded desperately then slowed as she swallowed. 

"You never… teach the sword, Kenshin," Kaoru murmured, lowering her bokken and staring into the rurouni's eyes. Kenshin smiled kindly, deep traces of remorse in his expressive orbs. 

"It was merely Sessha's way of getting close to you again. Sessha is deeply sorry if Kaoru-donno was upset by my story early…." Kenshin said. Kaoru stared at him, her heart in her eyes. 

"Oh, Kenshin…" she murmured. Kenshin's heart thudded at the intensity she invoked merely by saying his name. 

"Oro?" was the only thing he could think to utter. So close….they leaned close. Kaoru's virgin heart thudded happily, sure that she was about to share her first kiss and with the man she had wanted it to be with. Kenshin was still rather hesitant, but he cared for her. He would care for her in every way if she wanted and maybe….maybe he could work past the hurt he had bestowed upon himself…. 

There was a twist then Kenshin's warm eyes flashed back to wary kind resignation. Kaoru's heart twisted as his eyes turned cool and shut her away from him once more behind a careful mask of grief. 

"I...I am sorry, Kaoru-donno…" he murmured. How beautiful she was. Just like Tomoe…..deep unfathomable guilt and grief pulled Kenshin's heart down to his feet and he almost was sick with the lurching emotions her name in his mind created. 

Kaoru knew Kenshin far better than he thought she did and she all too well the careful way he put her back high on a shelf not to be touched by his imaginably still bloody hands. Her heart bled and she broke away from the rurouni with a small sob of despair. 

"Kaoru-donno!" Kenshin's tone was almost pleading. Kaoru ran from him and out into the neighborhood. She ran, then walked, and ran some more, deeply lost in thought and grief. 

Back at the dojo, Kenshin fell into despair. He would never know love again, for Kaoru had refused him. It was just as well….. The red-haired swordsman waited for Kaoru to return, and when it grew too late, he stayed in the courtyard, sakabato propped against one shoulder. 

The next morning he would receive a letter telling him what had happened to Kaoru-donno.

�

It took a couple of weeks to reach the location across the ocean along the mainland to reach Kaoru-donno's kidnappers, but at least the ship the Emperor was cresting over waves to catch the distant horizon. Kenshin had called in a favor for the first time with the high-ups of the government who knew his position in the Chosu. With careful planning, and fast thinking, Kenshin had found his way onto the ship. 

While they sailed from Tokyo harbor to the China mainland, Kenshin merely had time to think. His heart was worried, and grievously so. He knew this moment of kidnapping Kaoru was not new, and was growing more tired with each turn it happened, but for some reason it deeply seared him to think it was rather serious this time. Jinchu had been called upon him, and he knew he had a lot to answer for. 

Far more discomfort than one afternoon of storytelling and memory-drudging or the afternoon his Kaoru-donno had run from him in fear and grief. Someone intimately knowledgeable of his crimes to his wife had come calling. And he knew he had to answer the ghosts of his past before he could be free. 

These realizations slowly worked through Kenshin's heart and blood and filled him with fresh conviction and courage. He could not keep wandering in his past and his guilt. He had so much still to atone for, but he would not lose Kaoru-donno. He wanted to have a chance to love her, and when this was over, he wouldn't hold back. 

Kenshin gripped the ship's railing, his eyes hard and smiling as he watched the coast bounce closer and closer. The Yoritomo made good time and the captain lowered him into a rowboat. 

A tall white-haired man gripping a straight blade stood waiting. Kaoru stood behind his right shoulder, her eyes soft but worried. Seeing her safe made Kenshin smile with contentment. 

"Kenshin!" she called and made to dart around the strongly built assassin. But his arm flashed out, the one holding the ready blade, and forced her behind him. 

"Don't, unless you would join him in death," he commanded. Kenshin smiled once more. "Kaoru-donno, do not worry. I will take you with me," he assured her. Kaoru watched, with dread disbelief as he unsheathed the sakabato and stood ready. 

Would he take her with him in death, or life? 

The battle between the two was quick and decisive, and Kenshin's skills were the strongest. Kaoru needn't have worried about that, but Tomoe-san's younger brother was not be assuaged by a test of merit and martial ability. He wanted to kill Kenshin, and Kenshin's deeply honorable code may let him exact what he wanted. 

Kaoru was only too accurate in her assessment, for though Yukishiro had lost his blade, Kenshin lowered his sakabato and bowed his forehead to the sand in offering. 

"I took your smile away, and if my death will bring it back, then please…. Take your revenge," Kenshin murmured. Yukishiro's eyes bugged in madness and he found his blade again. 

"You will accept the jinchuu…." He growled, raising tall and extending his arm over his head. No!', Kaoru's mind screamed. Kenshin remained on his hands and knees, his face pressed low. He would let himself be killed! For someone else's grief…. 

It wasn't just his. It was Kenshin's too. Kaoru wouldn't let it end this way though. She ran as fast as she could, fearing it wouldn't be nearly fast enough. She closed her eyes and mentally screamed as she threw herself across Kenshin's shoulders as Yukishiro's strong arm lowered with the speed of the Hiten-Mitsurugi. She clutched Kenshin's warm strength with her spread arms and held onto him. And waited for the blow that never came. 

Yukishiro was paused, his arm rigid with holding his strike. Did he see her in time? He had to have. Tears were coursing down his cheeks and staining his eyes red. He sobbed quietly, and dropped his blade. But he hadn't seen her. Her woman's form was merely an avatar for the one female that haunted him for years. 

"Sister….why? Why must he not be killed?" Yukishiro hissed through clenched teeth and leaned down onto his arms in the sand. His wide shoulders shook as he sobbed. Kaoru's eyes softened, and she moved closer to the grieving man. As an afterthought, she nudged his blade away further from his reach, and touched his cheek. 

Yukishiro looked up, his face twisted with agony. He then knelt once more, burying his face in his captor's lap, his strong arms going round her waist. "Why? Why?" he asked again and again. Kaoru held his shoulders and patted his short hair. For a moment, Yukishiro had called her sister and Kaoru knew he saw her inside her image. Behind them, she could hear her Kenshin rise up from his position and regard them.

�

Later, Yukishiro Enishi sadly let the pair depart. He had visited his own ghosts, or quite possibly the other way around, and Kenshin had done the same in offering his neck to his brother-in-law. It had been a long exhausting and emotional day and Kaoru just wanted it to be over. 

She and Kenshin exchanged quiet and comfortable words and when they turned to walk away down the beach, his arm was across her shoulders. Kaoru found she liked being tagged as Kenshin's emotional possession and valued the warmth of his arm as they walked. 

The sun was setting as Kenshin found the rowboat he had used that day. Turning, he smiled and held out his hand. Kaoru's heart thudded and she took it to step into the small boat. Kenshin shoved off and clambered into the back, picking up the oars easily. 

"How did you get onto that ship?" Kaoru asked as Kenshin bit his lip, intent on moving the oars with one equal movement. He flashed his rurouni smile, but his eyes were far deeper than she remembered the rurouni's being. 

"I talked to my old friends in office," Kenshin said smoothly. Kaoru stared in disbelief as the Yoritomo rose higher and higher in the waves as they drew closer. Kenshin chose to help them these days if they needed it, but he never asked for the favors that any man knew was heaped up for him. 

"You did? Just to come here?" she asked. Oh why did she have to blush like a maiden? Her heart thudded and beat in time with the waves crashing them closer and closer to the ship. 

Kenshin smiled deeply, peace in his face. "Yes…just to get you back, Kaoru-donno…" She could swear he was blushing now too, but it was growing dark out. And the ship towering above them only served to throw darkness upon them. Kenshin hollered up for the crewmen who no doubt had seen his progression back to the ship's side. 

Ropes were lowered and after Kenshin secured the boat, they were lifted up. Kaoru was introduced to the captain and first mate, men who knew of Kenshin's importance to their government, and she was put to privacy straight away. The first mate gave up his own cabin for the lady apparent and Kaoru was finally alone with her thoughts. Kenshin had come all the way to another country solely to rescue her… 

Stripping down and changing into a dressing robe for the evening only served to whisper possibilities into Kaoru's ears. She was half naked and alone on a ship with Kenshin at dusk. Well, not with him. She was sure out of courtesy he was sleeping elsewhere to safeguard her reputation. Kaoru pressed a hand over her heart and sighed. 

No more worries or excuses. She had to be close to him and she had to know he loved her. She felt they had waited long enough. 

Kenshin was in his own state of thoughtful consideration. He would be bunking with the second-mate, and the man was out conferring to his duties with the captain. That gave Kenshin time to undress for the night and think of his current status of relationship to the heir of the Kamiya kendo school. It was apparent this new adventure had opened new doors to them both and for the moment, Kaoru seemed of like-mind to step through to him. Would he be able to meet her there? 

Kenshin's groin lurched and he sighed, looking down at himself as he tied the loose obi around the simple sleeping garment. How could he skip so quickly from love to desire? The two walked hand in hand, but for now resolutions of the heart must be made, and possibly marriage arrangements before he was sure Kaoru-donno wanted to be joined to him. 

Kenshin swept his ponytail over one small shoulder and stood straight. He wanted to check on Kaoru and make sure she was well. Small thoughts of checking for stow-away assassins formed in the back of his mind but Kenshin smiled. Sometimes it was rather hard to let go of thoughts of the past. But on matters of his first marriage…and Kenshin was sure he would make a second one, referring it in that way…. He could put his heart at ease. 

Kaoru jumped from the small bunk as she heard the small sharp raps across the cabin's door. "Coming! Yes, who is it?" she asked, dashing to get out from under the woolen blankets and arrange her attire. 

"It is merely Sessha," Kenshin smiled as she opened the door. Kaoru blushed, to see him wearing so slight a garment, but then she remembered she was wearing something similar and clutched the lapels closed. Kenshin had one uncharacteristic moment to dart his eyes down to her chest and notice she was not wearing her breasts bound. His face darkened as deep as his hair and he sighed. 

"Oh, Kenshin, you don't have to call yourself that," Kaoru sighed with relief, touching his cheek. He was warm to the touch. "Kenshin, are you coming down with something?" 

"Oro! Of course, not, Kaoru-donno!" Politeness warred with blatant desire and Kenshin could see the open door before him with Kaoru's shy smile. Step through or stay the way they had always been? 

Kenshin walked into the small cabin and the door closed behind him. 

"I merely came to see how you were doing, Kaoru-donno. I know it has been a long day…but I hope you aren't exhausted," Kenshin murmured politely. Kaoru sat on the edge of the bunk and folded her hands in her lap. Kenshin stepped closer. In the small confines of the cabin, his knees bumped hers. Kaoru looked up at him and she blushed in the small candle's light. 

"I have been well since you came, Kenshin….and I think finally… I know more about you." Kenshin's heart warmed, at Kaoru's careful words. He cupped her chin and turned her face up to him. 

"With Tomoe…it was different. It was a different world… and I was needed. But now…with you, I can choose to give you all of my duty and all of my actions. You only…" Kenshin whispered. Kaoru's heart thudded and she clutched his warm hand desperately. 

"Oh, Kenshin…" she said. Kenshin's eyes softened with warmth and her whole world focused on them and the heat his palm gave her face. Fate was being kind. 

"I've cared for you for years, Kaoru-donno… My heart is yours if you ever want to be mine. I promise to cherish and honor you all of my days…" Despite his fervent words, Kaoru knew he hesitated in tone only because he knew not what she thought about all of this. 

Kaoru chose to pull him down and press her lips to his clumsily. Kenshin murmured a small exclamation of surprise but pressed her close to his chest. His hands unskilled at holding a woman for so many years pressed her close to him, sliding down her back with ease. Kaoru's first kiss was precious but then Kenshin urged her lips open with growing passion. 

Kenshin found it was hard to fight his body's want for Kaoru as she pressed closely against his chest. Her unbound breasts pressed firmly against him and he gasped in her mouth. Kaoru looked up, flushed, and clutched Kenshin's back with her hands. 

"Kaoru-donno…I think if I am to keep you a woman of virtue, I should…." Kenshin gasped lowly. The candle had gone out in her sharp movement pulling him down and Kaoru had to reach to assure herself he was still near. Kaoru pressed a soft kiss against his cheek and held onto him, her head swimming. 

"Kenshin, I'm tired of playing this game….I want to be yours and if you do so it will still make me an honorable woman…." Kaoru whispered. Kenshin's heart almost broke in happiness and he cradled her face with his hand. 

"Kaoru…." He whispered and the woman's blood surged at the lack of suffix separating them. Her slender hands firmly calloused with swordplay tugged at his robe's lapels, opening them. Kenshin's breathing was shallow and even in the darkness as her hands skimmed the smooth wiry muscles covering his chest and sides. Her fingertips traced small marks and scars that crossed his slight body. Kaoru's eyes softened then she lifted her head as Kenshin's fingers curled in her hair and urged her back for a kiss. 

His hands trembled at her robe's opening and Kaoru found propriety thrown out the window as she eagerly awaited his touch. His hands shook as they found her round hips, and wandered up to caress her breasts. He cupped the mounds tenderly as if he feared to break Kaoru, but a small moan from her lips told him she was all right. 

Kenshin kissed her lips, her chin and down her neck, and buried his face to taste what he touched. Kaoru's chin lifted, her eyes open in surprise as she clutched his hair. The careful movements of his lips and tongue stiffened her nipples and thrummed a deep awakening in her womanhood. She fairly pulsed with anticipation. 

Through some cooperation, the two stripped themselves of their robes and fell back across the narrow bunk. There was room only for Kaoru to spread her legs and welcome Kenshin between them. Kenshin rose over the woman and looked down on her. He trembled as his heart pounded harshly. His manhood prodded her virgin opening. Karou's thighs ached from widening so far, and his heated tip blatantly told her this was the physical part of love. She wanted to be his woman and resolved to hold him close to her. 

"Kaoru…." Kenshin whispered, his voice husky in the near dark. "This…may hurt, Kaoru…." He paused over her but Kaoru reached up to touch his chest. 

"Please…make me yours…" Kaoru didn't know she had it in her to say words like this and to open herself to the rurouni. Kenshin nodded, uttering a soft gasp as he pressed hard against her, breaking into her virgin sheathe. Kaoru's hips wriggled, liking the joining so far. Then he touched her barrier and broke through it sharply, his hips flush against hers. Kaoru groaned in surprise, her eyes wide to the sharp intrusion. His manhood sliced into her as easily as his sakabato struck his enemies. But Kenshin treated her with the most delicate of care. He whispered her name, and found her lips with his. Kaoru's hands rose and glided over his slim back. By and by she grew used to his surging closeness and they moved together. 

Kaoru moved her hips up to meet Kenshin's careful thrusts. The ship rocked beneath them and guided their primal dance. Higher and higher their passions flamed. When Kenshin exploded with a quiet moan, Kaoru clutched him with her thighs. Feeling Kenshin press against her, his sharp breathing hollow in the small cabin, she smiled widely. Their journey of wondering and wandering was at a close. 

"Kaoru….are you well?" Kenshin whispered, raising on one elbow. Kaoru touched his cheek and kissed him. 

"How can I not be?" she answered. Kenshin smiled and made to get off of her. 

"Kenshin, stay with me…I'm sure the others on this ship have heard plenty of evidence I'm your woman," she said impishly. 

Kenshin gratefully lay with her and Kaoru's fingers traced up and down his back. The two weeks journey back to Tokyo was going to be a happy one. 

End 

I hope you like it. My first citrusy Rurouni Kenshin fanfiction story. I hope I haven't overused Hiko's line in the Trust ova too badly. I have his little speech as my email signature 

Like it? Hate it? Please please PLEASE Review and tell me what you think. 

Most sincerely, penpaninu 12/03/05

Reposted 3/17/08


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